Some Categorizations

I started my first day of Radical Honesty (RH) and Nonviolent Communication (NVC). As I write, I am having a clumsily-executed NVC conversation with Ricky about his communication styles, in particular the harboring of resentment toward me and the need for validation that I am incapable of and averse to giving. It's going terribly.

Four instances of lying today; this morning, I used a Placation on Moya, saying "it's fine" that she printed out copies of an old score even though I told her that I wanted to edit it. My truth was that I was annoyed that she didn't listen to me and I was annoyed that she was annoyed that I didn't say something before, even though I remember that I did. I thought about alternatives to "It's fine" that are less prone to be lies, like "Oh", "I see", and "Okay" (a monotone "okay", not to be confused with the happier accepting "okay!").

Later this morning, I placated Lucy with a comment about how I was "pretty sure" I said Malala and not her phantom "Mahala". I wasn't pretty sure. I was certain. Both of these Placations were used to avoid a confrontation, though both confrontations would have been minute.

The third lie was an example of Storytelling. I mentioned that I live close to Red Sauce Pizza (true) and that I had once called them and asked for delivery, and they refused (false). I did this to get attention.

The last lie I told was only an hour ago at 8:10, when I explicitly told my mother that I hadn't been taking Adderall. I corrected this lie a few minutes later and it made me feel uncomfortable to address it. This lie was an example of "Covering your ass" (clinical-sounding name on the way, I swear). This technique is used to avoid embarrassment or incrimination.

Also today, I had an experience in which I could have used NVC and didn't, and now I regret it. It makes me feel sad to think about the experience, especially since I had so many chances to say something and I didn't, so I don't think I will recount the situation today. I will be forever kicking myself for not using this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to bust out some pro-level conflict resolution. Oh well.

Method of lying	Use	Impact on relationships
Placation	Used to avoid confrontation	Harbors resentment, interactives have a warped sense of what you value
Storytelling	Used to inflate ego, get attention, gain credibility	Creates insincerity in relationships, adds barrier between honest connection
Covering your ass	Used to avoid embarrassment or incrimination	Deprives interactives of witnessing and understanding your vulnerabilities and insecurities

Engraver